Happy Hanukkah

My Friend Frances called me Tuesday night to wish me a Happy Hanukkah and to let me know that Hanukkah is her favorite holiday (as shown in this picture). What makes it extra awesome is that Frances is five and she's Catholic. I didn't ask why Hanukkah is her favorite holiday. I didn't want to put her on the spot. And it's really hard to have a meaningful conversation with a five year old on a cell phone. But it got me thinking about Hanukkah and made me realize that while I know you light candles and get eight presents, I wasn't completely clear on what Hanukkah really is. So here is a quick explanation:

Hanukkah, from the Hebrew word for "dedication" or "consecration", marks the re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem after its desecration by the forces of Antiochus IV and commemorates the "miracle of the container of oil." According to the Talmud, at the re-dedication following the victory of the Maccabees over the Seleucid Empire, there was only enough consecrated olive oil to fuel the eternal flame in the Temple for one day. Miraculously, the oil burned for eight days, which was the length of time it took to press, prepare and consecrate fresh olive oil.

I Feel Fat

I know how dumb it sounds when someone who isn't really fat says that they're fat. Especially skinny girls who are just trying to get someone to say "Shut up! You are NOT fat! You are SO skinny!". I'm not really doing that. Because I'm not skinny. And lately, I actually do feel like I'm fat. I don't know if it's because I have been eating tons of crap since I started my new job. Or if it's because the only time I think about the gym is when I see my bank statement and I notice the $67 dollars they deduct from my checking account every month. But something is making me feel large and not in charge. I can't seem to stop eating and I can't seem to start exercising. I know that this is not a unique problem and that American culture is based on fat lazy people trying to become skinny lazy people without having to work at it. But I have always thought that people who are overweight just had to stop eating so many cheetos and start going for walks a few times a week. Now I realize that even smart rational people (like myself) sometimes can't seem to get their shit together and stop doing bad stuff. I get home from work and all I want to do is eat pudding and watch cable. And what I should be doing is going to the gym and then coming home and eating brown rice. But I don't want to. And I have to do so many things all day that I don't want to do but I have to do, that when I leave work, I just want to do what I want to do. And sitting down in front of the t.v. with a box of crackers and a brick of cream cheese is what I usually want to do.
But what I don't want to do is become someone who hates themself and doesn't ever want to be seen naked. And that's what's happening. I still want to have sex with P.O., but I hate having to take my clothes off to do it. Why can't he see how hot it is to have sex while I am fully clothed? Or when it's pitch black in the room. But these are just temporary fixes. I know that I need to do something. Last night I even did some push ups and some sit ups while I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story about rock star wives. And it felt good. Now I just need to stop eating so many snacks at work and try to get to the gym. Because the only thing worse to me than being fat is wasting money.