Some People Never Learn

I was doing so well. I suffered through the first terrible weeks and I was on the road to recovery. I had reintroduced myself to the opposite sex and they seemed to be taking somewhat of an interest. I was starting to sleep a little bit and I was no longer numb from the waist down. And then I blew it. I had an itch Saturday night that needed scratching. And I scratched it until it bled. And now I'm back to square one. In the toilet. Miserable. Heartbroken. And I only have myself to blame. Because I really should know better. But I don't. And it must be because I truly am stupid. I thought I was smart. Or at least average. But I'm not. I am a silly impulsive woman-child who never seems to learn. And I must be stopped. Of course now that I've gotten a taste, I just want more. And now all I can think about is going back.

My New Boyfriend

I really thought I was over my whole musician thing. Back in the day, I used to get damp in the pant from the mere sight of a guitar case. Thankfully, in recent years I've lost my boner for the unemployable rock star. But lately I've been listening to a lot of Ryan Adams, courtesy of a blog that I frequent that had one of his albums on it. He's got a great voice, knows his way around a guitar, and is pretty sweet to look at.
I've been thinking that maybe it's time for me to revisit my old hobby - going to lots of rock shows and making out with lots of inappropriate boys.

The Best Medicine

After that last post, I felt like I needed a laugh. With my break-up with P.O. and B.G.'s wife's funeral, things have been a little bleak in my world. So aside from looking at this picture over and over again, I've been trying to do other things to make myself have fun. For example, Monday night I went to a comedy club with my friend A.S. The irony of course is that I hate comedy. And I always just assumed that I would also hate comedy clubs. But I actually had a good time. Maybe it was the 2 martinis. Maybe it was the nachos. Maybe it was the cute gay boys we were with. Or maybe it was just being in Time's Square, my favorite place in the world. Whatever it was, I had fun, which is exactly what I need right now. My instinct is always to just go home and sit on the couch with my box of crackers and my brick of cream cheese and watch all the Scrubs episodes I've DVR'd. But I've been forcing myself out of the house, because the less time I have alone with my thoughts, the better.

What Does It All Mean?

My former boss B.G.'s wife died yesterday. She had pancreatic cancer. She was sick for about a year, which I guess is a long time to live with that kind of cancer. It's really aggressive and people usually die pretty quickly.
I never met her, but I feel like I knew her with how much B.G. would talk about her. They seemed to have one of those great marriages that somehow stayed strong and happy through kids and illness and job losses and all of the other things that tend to destroy a lot of relationships. B.G. is one of my favorite people and by far the best boss I've ever had. And this whole thing has made me wonder why such a terrible thing would happen to such a nice person. Especially since I know some horrible people who never have anything bad happen to them.

Dark Thoughts

Sometimes it's fun to talk shit. Especially when it's with someone who hates the same people you do. It's definitely a nice way to bond. And a good way to pass the time. But lately the shit talking has been getting to me. It's depressing when every conversation is about something negative. Don't get me wrong, you know I'm a negative person (thanks P.O.), but even I have my limit. And I think I'm reaching it. Every day we go over the same things. The same people, the same stories, the same hate. It's bringing me down. And kinda getting on my nerves. And it sucks, because I'm full of love. Even for the person who is full of hate.
What to do?

The Fugitive

Is it just me, or is this guy hot? He's the marine who killed his pregnant co-marine and then hid out in Mexico for 3 months. Usually murderers are ugly, but I would definitely have a conjugal visit with this one.

Definitely Famous

So I finally ran into Natalie Portman yesterday. She's been working in my office all week and I had yet to have a sighting. But we used the bathroom at the same time last night and then we took the elevator out together.
We had brief small talk in the bathroom about paper towels, and then when we got out of the elevator and onto the street, I asked her what she was working on at the office. We chatted on the street for a minute and then I told her to have a good night and we parted ways. She was nice and friendly and pretty. But I couldn't help but notice that she had the body of an 8 year old boy. It actually made me feel kinda good about myself. Well, from the neck down anyway.

I Need A Vacation

Actually, I just got back from one. I went to Phoenix with my family and then drove up to Utah to volunteer at an animal sanctuary. Then I drove to Palm Desert to meet up with my friend. Then I drove back to Phoenix to fly back to New York. It was kind of exhausting and kind of awesome. This was what most of the roads looked like. I drove about 1,300 miles. And all of them were by myself. It was definitely a little bit lonely and I don't know that I would want to go on a trip like that again by myself. It got me thinking that it would be nice to have a partner who could/would want to do something like that with me. P.O. and I were, once again, in break-up negotiations, so that wasn't really an option. But I'm hoping that next time vacation time rolls around, I will have a sweet, wonderful guy to take with me. To help with the driving.

Barely Famous

I think I saw Donald Trump's car today. It was parked outside the Trump Soho building and it was a Bentley, which is quite fancy.
I took this picture with my cell phone.
I had to be inconspicuous because his driver was standing next to the car.
I know this doesn't really count as a famous person,
but it counts as a famous car.
I think.

Almost Famous

I had such a famous person day today. Alright, maybe famous is a bit of an overstatement. But I saw a lot of people I know from t.v. and movies today. This morning I walked by a couch in my office and Leelee Sobieski was sitting on it talking to some woman. Leelee was in Never Been Kissed and some other movies. I've seen her before walking around Soho.
She's not very special, but she fits into my famous people day.
Then I was on the 6 train and Lily Taylor was sitting across from me. She lives in my neighborhood and I've seen her on Smith Street. But today she wasn't looking so good. But she counts.
Then I saw Richard Kind in my office, who most people don't know, but he was on Mad About You, which was a show I really liked. And he had a small role on Scrubs, which, anyone who knows me knows, is one of my favorite shows. He was also on Spin City, but I never watched that.
Then I saw the woman who played Ross's ex-wife's new girlfriend on Friends. She was also in my office. I think people were there auditioning for something because there's a casting agent down the hall. Normally I don't see all these actors.
The big moment came when A.S. and I were waiting for the elevator after work and the Coen brothers were standing there. I was too nervous to get on the elevator with them, but we all stood there together for a good 4 minutes. It was pretty cool. It's weird - Joel is really tall and kind of good looking. And Ethan is really short and not so good looking. It's weird they're brothers.
Then when A.S. and I were walking to the train, we saw Sophie Dahl standing outside the Mercer. She's some sort of English socialite/model/something and not very exciting. Though her grandfather wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, so that's kind of interesting.
She looked like a tranny. But again, she fit into my famous person day.
And Natalie Portman was in my office today, but I didn't see her. Apparently she will be back tomorrow, so I'm hoping to catch her then.
Stand by.